Something About Listening

Often times when we are not being heard by someone close to us it’s because they are not listening. I know that sounds terrible huh? Unfortunately this happens.

When a person is not listening it could be for a number of reasons. Perhaps they are preoccupied with something, they don’t want to listen to what you are saying, they don’t have good listening skills, etc. So what does one do?

Before I go into what you can do, I encourage you to spend some time in prayer prior to inviting a loved one to communicate with you about your relationship concerns. Prayer ALWAYS helps.

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

          Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

First, let’s keep in mind that if you’re trying to communicate with someone close to you about something concerning your relationship with them, that’s important. What you have to say (hopefully in a calm manner) is important so say it.

Often people hold back from telling loved ones what’s on their mind for fear of hurting them or because the other person might get angry. I would invite you to still speak up (I want to stress here that it’s important to make sure you are feeling safe as you try to communicate. Safety first). If you can’t communicate with a loved one then who can you communicate with about what’s happening in your relationship.

Secondly, if there is someone at your job or an associate you see on occasion and your trying to communicate with them and they don’t listen it could be for the same reasons I indicate previously.

Thirdly, I invite you to remember, no matter who you’re trying to communicate with if that person is not listening to you is no reflection on you whatsoever. It’s all about where they are and how they are choosing to deal with communicating or lack of communicating. This does not mean they are a bad person , it’s an indicator of an area where they could benefit from doing some personal work.

We have no control over someone else’s perception of what we say. We have no control over if someone wants to communicate they are listening to us or not. It’s their choice as it is your choice to communicate and listening to one another.

I hope you found this helpful. Feel free to comment.

Peace & Blessings
Barbara J. Couch, MDiv.

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